Without Regret for What I've Done

Year by year, when Idul Fitri has come, maybe just one sentence that always repeat by my brother in there--even maybe I was saying sorry on thousand times: "without regret from we have done. Taqobbal ya kariim."

And it makes me thinking anymore, do I regret with all I have done or do ever? Yes, I do. Why? I don't know clearly why. Are you apologize yourself? I am not sure. For me, very easily apologize other people and difficultly apologize myself. It has made me sad and hurt. 

My brother taught me much how to see the world. How I have valued something. Its have been principal to me. He is very independent man that I ever met. Realist, naturalist, solitary, and I owe him with his character example. Are you feel that he is your patron Isma? Ostensibly. I just stranger on his mind who much copy his act and how he's thinking. I'm not sure but he is like my other part of myself. Even, consciously I just one of his complex world. Like one of billion men in mankind. 

But I don't care. We are same character at principal stance. We are equal. He taught the people around him too and I'm not special of course. In the fact, many people love him. No problem, it's done naturally. 

Repeatedly: without regret for I've done. Minal aidzin wal faidzin. 

Alone at The Old Town, Jakarta, 1 Syawal 2019.